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Showing posts from March, 2017

Subjectivity

I wish I have the power to read minds. Like seriously. Also, I really wish I can go back to studying for a while. Or forever. But money doesn't grow on trees. Don't know what to do with life.

Do you believe in prayers?

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I've never been a particularly sappy person, but things have changed recently. Neither have I been particularly religious but well.. I can't explain either.

Anyway (and yes, I can't believe I'm saying this because this is SO not me), a few minutes ago I was sending a desperate plea to heaven about something that was really, really close to my heart. I've never wanted so much for one person before (because I was always a selfish spoilt brat haha). It took almost 30 years for someone to make me want to change this trait.

I've been feeling really powerless these days. And I also hate myself for not being to achieve some things (not work-related)...

Anyway, I was praying (it feels really weird to be saying this) just now. And this song was played on radio the next minute. It's a motherly love song sung by Tarzan's gorilla adoptive mother, but I can see it from another angle - not the death one, but something that I've been going through for almost two yea…

Time does not heal all wounds.

It's been a year of ups and downs. Mostly up, but there's one "down" that I feel like I will never forget or forgive myself for. I still feel like zombie sometimes -- like all my drive and motivation has been sucked out and everything just... Vanished. And I feel like I can't get out of it. I've always bounced bad from adversities rather easily, but this time, I feel like I'll never be OK. And as much as I want to change, I simply don't have the faith anymore. Plus other factors are controlling me. It's so overwhelming sometimes and nobody understands. And my household is so controlling that my cousin is the only person in the world who understands it and understands how I feel - because she's seen it happen. It's so sad sometimes. Well just one time. I've always accepted that my life was like that... Until B. And then I only wanted one thing in my life. Other things, people could stop me, imprison me and I'd be fine (ren ming haha…

Being Good / Not Good Enough

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Working as a writer (it's the same for every job, I guess) has its rewarding moments. However, it can get really discouraging sometimes too. I put in a lot of effort in everything I do, so it's a wonderful feeling when I receive positive feedback like "OMG I LOVE IT". But sometimes... I just can't get something that everyone loves, and it can really put a damper on my day.

Then again (uplifting in a way), I know I'm not alone. I've seen the most brilliant writers and YouTubers going through the same thing too — for example, this YouTuber once mentioned that he spent hours cycling for a video... And the client ended up not approving that video! But he didn't let it stop him from continuing to come up with more content.

Can't win em' all (no human can, not even someone as perfect as Emma Watson), but I wish I could! Must. Be. Positive.

And here's my inspiration playlist of the week.

Decluttered desktop. Now, ready to take on the world!

Hello!

It's been about three months since I was last here. Wow, has it really been THAT long?

Anyway, I just back-upped all my files, photos and videos, my previously almost 90%-filled desktop is now clear and very neatly organised. Fees soooooo good. I hope I can keep this up! A messy desktop is such a turn-off, and it always makes me not want to do any work on my laptop.

I guess that's why I'm back here - because woohoo, clean-looking start-up screen (for now at least).

And my next step.... I need to make it a habit to organise the photos and videos in my computer monthly at least. Perhaps by doing that, I'll get a little motivation to blog as well... Like a monthly update of what I've been up to.

Not that I've been doing anything extra special these days, blah.

But in my dreams, I'm a travel talkshow host!

Oh man the weather's getting warm again. I sooooo enjoyed the November to February period, where the weather in Singapore's the most pleasant.