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Showing posts from August, 2016

Heaven is playing a cruel joke on me

I hope everyone is having fun watching the show. Glad to be of amusement. With all the restrictions in my life, someday I will regret not really LIVING. Well, I've already been feeling it since I was about 18. But this is really sinking in. Every time I want to do something, there is this element of risk. And I understand that people who love me will worry for me, and I have to keep them in mind for any decision I make. But what about myself.... I am human too. I have dreams, aspirations, desires. Chasing my dream would be selfish. And really... If shit's gonna happen, it will, even in my own home. I really wonder why I was born. One day I'm just going to sit in an empty house (ALONE) and my neighbours will smell a bad smell - and yay that's my life. No dreams, no love, no friends - maybe a few work achievements in my LinkedIn account.

DAMN I ALWAYS HAVE PHASES LIKE THIS. Because I'm really... not allowed to do anything (as ridiculous as that sounds coming from a …

I've got a dream!

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I've got a dream for a looooong long time already. I've probably mentioned it somewhere in this blog or my old one. Sometimes, my dream, seems soooo sooooo far away that I just think "oh, forget it" and stop hoping an chasin Sometimes I feel bitter about it. Sometimes I'm brimming with hope. Other times I'm just resigned to my fate, and countdown to end of life HA.

You know the biggest problem with dreams? It usually involves stepping out of your comfort zone. It involves courage, adventure, and so much more. That's when you get naysayers, obstacles (both internal and external), blah blah blah.

Rapunzel had a dream! To see the world! Just like me! Disney movies always give people false hopes HA. I don't know why I still love them so much. 

And I feel like I'm quite smart these days HA. Well, many years ago my friends did shed the same advice, but I guess, many years ago I was just a thick block. You know (yes, ridiculous now that I'm almost 3…

I wanna learn to cook!

BELLO! I'm back! All text and no talk again, poor you. Or poor whoever is seeing this. Haha. How are you? I'd tell you what's going on in my life, but it's the same old, same old But I wish I'm globetrotting! I'd love to travel freely someday. I used to say "I'd love to dream about travelling at night" because oh you know... protective family and all. But now, I'm all I'M GOING TO TRAVEL SOMEDAY. I wish I can achieve this dream before I die. Or I'll be really pissed - and there had better be real ghost whisperers to help me get the resolution I need.

My blog these days aren't as happy and exciting as say, ten years ago. But oh well, that's part and parcel of growing up! Y'all young ones should treasure your youth as much as you can!

These days, I have been working... sleeping.. napping... yes that's pretty much everything. I don't even have much energy to go out these days. Age...... Ha.

But there's something …

When scenes keep replaying in your mind

You just want to stab at those darn thoughts with a fork and make them go away forever. I really hate this. Some people are just more powerful and this bloody SUCKS. I remember their tones, expressions, and that emotional blackmail. Yes it's emotional blackmail even if it was well-meaning. And that's quite... low.  Emotional blackmail from people closest to you sucks the most.

Or maybe I am just unlucky. Blah. Just regret that I pull other people down into my bad luck.

I ONLY HAVE ONE WISH

These days, I feel like there too many people and factors against me for getting what I want. I've really never felt so defenseless and powerless because, and it SUCKS. I know people believe that"Everything happens according to God's plan", or "Everything will happen in His time". I don't know, really. It's kind of hard to believe, when there are so many obstacles in front of you (and failures behind you). Do I even dare dream that "This too, shall pass"?

At this point, I really do have just one wish. And I did almost get it. But nobody wants me to be happy I guess.

I feel like I was living in the Matrix all along. A fake, programmed life. And now I finally realise the existence of the outside world, but am forever stuck in this.

I'm human, and I have my dreams and desires too. But... I just feel like my life doesn't belong to me. And some other people own me.

This is just sad. I don't remember ever being so sad. And nobody wil…

Absentmindedness

I was applying moisturiser when I was distracted by a text message. And then I couldn't remember if I moisturised my arms. The very next minute, I went to get tea -- wanted green tea, but absentmindedly took the lipton tea bag, and only realised my mistake AFTER I poured hot water. Ahhh.

IN DA ZONE TO BLOGGG

I'm actually supposed to go home now, but it's not always I'm in the mood to blog, so guess staying in the office for a few more minutes won't hurt! Anyway, blogging is supposed to be relaxing! Also, I'm in an optimistic mood today - and these days... Moods like this are hard to come by, so of COURSE I must log it. I haven't been feeling very good last month because well... But things always get better. If  I believe that things will get better (and also work to make them better lah), I'm sure everything will work out just fine!

And I may say this now.. But maybe I'll be plagued with the one-week crying jag later. Blah.

Anyway, I just checked my TOTO tickets and I didn't win anything. Why did I spend $8 on it, huh? I usually only spend $8 per MONTH. Well... Mai Yi Ge Xi Wang. Seven million dollars, you know? Oh the things I'd do with seven million.... (does not $100k bags).

I had so much on my mind just now... But those thoughts go as swiftly as t…

Why are some people on Carousell so irritating?

So many cheapskates on Carousell. Or maybe their maths forever fail. If I could earn $10 for every time I refrain from saying "**** NO are you stupid or do you think I'm stupid?", I'd be rich. And 10 years ago, this would have been majorly uncensored and multi-lingual. Haha. Oh, the impulsive and uncouth girl from yesteryear! 

"Nego?" "$2 can?" "Free postage can?". I like to offer nice stuff to sweet buyers (yes they exist!) but some people.....

Of course, I've met my share of wonderful people who either don't haggle, or make fair bargains. All of them are very understanding about busy schedules, and transactions have been really smooth so far!

But some people make such ridiculous requests that I just don't know how they don't laugh at themselves. Like seriously. If someone already sets a fair price... you have the GUTS to ask for a 50% discount??????

Carousell is a really fun place to get send your pre-loved belongings to b…

Going back to blogging

I've been thinking of coming back here to blog regularly... But there are always other things that I need to do. So many commitments, so many distractions. I guess, most of the time, it's just because I'm lazy and unproductive. Sometimes, I feel like I have tons of things to write about. And then I just lie on my bed for "a short rest". Before I know it... I've fallen asleep for three hours, and feel totally sh*tty about the time I've wasted.

I used to be so passionate about blogging! It's where I can write about things I like, in my own style. It's MY space. Why have I gotten so.... jaded?

Btw, I made mooncakes yesterday! Will blog about it. :)
And I need to blog about what I feel about Tangled the movie (if you still remember it - it's not a super new movie.)