Showing posts from 2016

What do you do

What do you do, when some things seem impossible to resolve? You try to analyse, and think of ways to resolve it.What do you do,  when all parties involved have different opinions, and are all attacking you?I honestly have no idea.

I want to build a snowman!

Today, I was feeling quite envious of my sister and also April and a few other friends who were overseas enjoying the snow. I've never seen snow, and I just think it's so pretty. People who see snow all the time won't understand. But to see snow falling from the sky, and white, powdery ice on the floor - it's just something I never got to see. And I have a feeling I'll never get to see. It was also the happy look on April's face that made me so envious, I guess. To people like us - people who live in tropical climates - snow is just magical. And to see it with your favourite person (of course when I'm like super old, I can go alone) just seems so nice.

But whatever. 不是我的命. Things I want always evade me and my dreams were dashed earlier this year anyway.

And then I saw my friend post an encounter on Facebook. She met an elderly man with bad eyesight, and he asked her to help him with cash withdrawal because he couldn't see properly. Turned out that he had…



10 days ago was my birthday! I haven't celebrated birthdays for a long time already, but this year's special! All surprises, really. I received a looooong, sweet and heartfelt letter from Boris. Posic and Cheri surprised me with a cake, candle and song when we met up hahaha. SO SWEET. My co-workers also celebrated my birthday. And Poh Ling sent me a Hello Kitty birthday card she bought during her mini-honeymoon. And text messages :) 
I'll blog about them soon enough, but today, I want to talk about my new Happy Book! The super busy April managed to make time to meet me for my birthday, and she got me a Happy Book. I think this is a pretty cool idea - it works like a diary, but easier. I'm lazy to describe, and pictures say a thousand words, so take a look!

She told me she chose this book because, I quote:
"I feel that sometimes when we grow up, we feel very negative when we work.. we need things like tt to cheer us up, and it helps us to reflect the good th…

Everything happens for a reason

Some days, I feel like I can't take it anymore (maybe I am just weak haha).Then I remember that I've had many "Oh, so this is why some people say everything happens for a reason" realisations. Next time I will blog about it and tag "everything happens for a reason", so that I can find encouragement to help me through tough times. I'm more blessed than many people in the world, so I guess it's time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Also (and I may regret this impulsive mention) sometimes I feel like sociopaths and psychopaths have it easy in life. They don't feel empathy, they don't feel pain. Sometimes caring too much is the most terrible thing that can ever happen.

Sharpening My Writing Chops

I've been working on this for some time already... Reading good copy to learn from brilliant writers,  but there never seems to be enough time and energy, and my brain doesn't absorb knowledge as fast as Scarlett Johananssen's character did in the Lucy movie. It'sa very, very frustrating uphill climb. So many different styles, topics, specialisations. I wonder how long it took my boss to reach the (super sky high) level she's at.

That Girl is so Pretty

How come I see so many pretty girls on my newsfeed, but when I look into the mirror.... So average ah? Looking into mirrors must be really wonderful experiences for them haha.I just saw a girl's wedding pics on Facebook.  This girl... Since the the tender age of 13, has been very pretty. And with makeup and nice hair... Even prettier! She looks like a delicate fairy wtf why I cannot look like maybe even half-bred fairy? #firstworldproblems aside, it really sucks to not one of The Chosen Ones who were born pretty with nice facial features and bodies. What did I NOT do to deserve the same? I'm not a nasty person and I haven't done anything  bad. In this life, at least. And no, I'm not fishing for compliments.

I have a problem

And I can't stand it. Everything I do, say and write needs to go through a preemptive  "How would he/she/they respond". And it is so frustrating. Can't even explain it but sometimes I want to stab myself. And don't even say "you don't have to do this" coz you won't understand until you are in my shoes. Sometimes I wish that everyone, including myself are pre-programmed robots who all follow the same rules GOODNESS.

So easily irritated today. Fought the urge to kick a girl strutting in SLOW-MOTION at the mouth of the escalator. Later, a lady on the phone brushed past me and NEED TO KNOCK INTO MY SHOULDER SO HARD ANOT.

Enid Blyton and Naughty Stories.

When I was a kid, I loved Enid Blyton's stories, and I think I've read almost all, if not all her books (and she wrote hundreds!). Recently, I picked up a few to read (to re-live my youth) haha. And OMG everything seems so "wrong". She writes about naughty boys and girls getting spankings and punishments. And the way the dialogues take place. I want to laugh.

But that aside, I can see why her books are so.. magical somehow. Even though yeah. When she was living, lots of people didn't like her for being "a controversial woman". HA. The people who bashed her would  be shocked if they saw the world today.

Heaven is playing a cruel joke on me

I hope everyone is having fun watching the show. Glad to be of amusement. With all the restrictions in my life, someday I will regret not really LIVING. Well, I've already been feeling it since I was about 18. But this is really sinking in. Every time I want to do something, there is this element of risk. And I understand that people who love me will worry for me, and I have to keep them in mind for any decision I make. But what about myself.... I am human too. I have dreams, aspirations, desires. Chasing my dream would be selfish. And really... If shit's gonna happen, it will, even in my own home. I really wonder why I was born. One day I'm just going to sit in an empty house (ALONE) and my neighbours will smell a bad smell - and yay that's my life. No dreams, no love, no friends - maybe a few work achievements in my LinkedIn account.

DAMN I ALWAYS HAVE PHASES LIKE THIS. Because I'm really... not allowed to do anything (as ridiculous as that sounds coming from a …

I've got a dream!

I've got a dream for a looooong long time already. I've probably mentioned it somewhere in this blog or my old one. Sometimes, my dream, seems soooo sooooo far away that I just think "oh, forget it" and stop hoping an chasin Sometimes I feel bitter about it. Sometimes I'm brimming with hope. Other times I'm just resigned to my fate, and countdown to end of life HA.

You know the biggest problem with dreams? It usually involves stepping out of your comfort zone. It involves courage, adventure, and so much more. That's when you get naysayers, obstacles (both internal and external), blah blah blah.

Rapunzel had a dream! To see the world! Just like me! Disney movies always give people false hopes HA. I don't know why I still love them so much. 

And I feel like I'm quite smart these days HA. Well, many years ago my friends did shed the same advice, but I guess, many years ago I was just a thick block. You know (yes, ridiculous now that I'm almost 3…

I wanna learn to cook!

BELLO! I'm back! All text and no talk again, poor you. Or poor whoever is seeing this. Haha. How are you? I'd tell you what's going on in my life, but it's the same old, same old But I wish I'm globetrotting! I'd love to travel freely someday. I used to say "I'd love to dream about travelling at night" because oh you know... protective family and all. But now, I'm all I'M GOING TO TRAVEL SOMEDAY. I wish I can achieve this dream before I die. Or I'll be really pissed - and there had better be real ghost whisperers to help me get the resolution I need.

My blog these days aren't as happy and exciting as say, ten years ago. But oh well, that's part and parcel of growing up! Y'all young ones should treasure your youth as much as you can!

These days, I have been working... sleeping.. napping... yes that's pretty much everything. I don't even have much energy to go out these days. Age...... Ha.

But there's something …

When scenes keep replaying in your mind

You just want to stab at those darn thoughts with a fork and make them go away forever. I really hate this. Some people are just more powerful and this bloody SUCKS. I remember their tones, expressions, and that emotional blackmail. Yes it's emotional blackmail even if it was well-meaning. And that's quite... low.  Emotional blackmail from people closest to you sucks the most.

Or maybe I am just unlucky. Blah. Just regret that I pull other people down into my bad luck.


These days, I feel like there too many people and factors against me for getting what I want. I've really never felt so defenseless and powerless because, and it SUCKS. I know people believe that"Everything happens according to God's plan", or "Everything will happen in His time". I don't know, really. It's kind of hard to believe, when there are so many obstacles in front of you (and failures behind you). Do I even dare dream that "This too, shall pass"?

At this point, I really do have just one wish. And I did almost get it. But nobody wants me to be happy I guess.

I feel like I was living in the Matrix all along. A fake, programmed life. And now I finally realise the existence of the outside world, but am forever stuck in this.

I'm human, and I have my dreams and desires too. But... I just feel like my life doesn't belong to me. And some other people own me.

This is just sad. I don't remember ever being so sad. And nobody wil…


I was applying moisturiser when I was distracted by a text message. And then I couldn't remember if I moisturised my arms. The very next minute, I went to get tea -- wanted green tea, but absentmindedly took the lipton tea bag, and only realised my mistake AFTER I poured hot water. Ahhh.


I'm actually supposed to go home now, but it's not always I'm in the mood to blog, so guess staying in the office for a few more minutes won't hurt! Anyway, blogging is supposed to be relaxing! Also, I'm in an optimistic mood today - and these days... Moods like this are hard to come by, so of COURSE I must log it. I haven't been feeling very good last month because well... But things always get better. If  I believe that things will get better (and also work to make them better lah), I'm sure everything will work out just fine!

And I may say this now.. But maybe I'll be plagued with the one-week crying jag later. Blah.

Anyway, I just checked my TOTO tickets and I didn't win anything. Why did I spend $8 on it, huh? I usually only spend $8 per MONTH. Well... Mai Yi Ge Xi Wang. Seven million dollars, you know? Oh the things I'd do with seven million.... (does not $100k bags).

I had so much on my mind just now... But those thoughts go as swiftly as t…

Why are some people on Carousell so irritating?

So many cheapskates on Carousell. Or maybe their maths forever fail. If I could earn $10 for every time I refrain from saying "**** NO are you stupid or do you think I'm stupid?", I'd be rich. And 10 years ago, this would have been majorly uncensored and multi-lingual. Haha. Oh, the impulsive and uncouth girl from yesteryear! 

"Nego?" "$2 can?" "Free postage can?". I like to offer nice stuff to sweet buyers (yes they exist!) but some people.....

Of course, I've met my share of wonderful people who either don't haggle, or make fair bargains. All of them are very understanding about busy schedules, and transactions have been really smooth so far!

But some people make such ridiculous requests that I just don't know how they don't laugh at themselves. Like seriously. If someone already sets a fair price... you have the GUTS to ask for a 50% discount??????

Carousell is a really fun place to get send your pre-loved belongings to b…

Going back to blogging

I've been thinking of coming back here to blog regularly... But there are always other things that I need to do. So many commitments, so many distractions. I guess, most of the time, it's just because I'm lazy and unproductive. Sometimes, I feel like I have tons of things to write about. And then I just lie on my bed for "a short rest". Before I know it... I've fallen asleep for three hours, and feel totally sh*tty about the time I've wasted.

I used to be so passionate about blogging! It's where I can write about things I like, in my own style. It's MY space. Why have I gotten so.... jaded?

Btw, I made mooncakes yesterday! Will blog about it. :)
And I need to blog about what I feel about Tangled the movie (if you still remember it - it's not a super new movie.)

"Everything happens for a reason"

I really wonder what the REASON is this time. Or "someday, everything will make sense". I also wonder how much longer I have to WAIT AND SEE. Maybe my hair will be grey already. Blah.

Sharing happiness

I guess, people will never be truly happy for you. When you are happy... Keep it to yourself. That's the only way you can stay happy - because no one else is around to ruin it.

Life like this...

I wish someone can save me from the kind of life I'm stuck in. It's a bit like a prison. Okay a comfy one. But it's the kind of prison that makes me feel like I have nothing to live for. I'm going back to the life where I think.. If I were in a supernatural world and had the chance to hang on or let go.. I would let go. When I think of the life ahead. What's there? Work? Career advancements? Saving money, just saving, saving saving? Living my life according to others' beliefs? Letting others design my life for me? I'm just... living blindly. I think I blogged the same thing 10 years ago. Some things never change. Haha.

Fantastic weather

The weather has been so darn wonderful these days.... I just wanna laze on my bed and snooze till the afternoon! Oh the temperature..

Dreams and hopes

You know, I've been looking at successful/brilliant/amazing people, and there are times I start to think "when can I ever be like her?"

I've always wanted to be a brilliant writer, but sometimes, I really wonder if I have what it takes. Writing used to come to easily to me - and when I was in school, people actually liked reading my blog. Sometimes, my classmate would randomly tell me "OMG hahaha I was reading your blog last night and I kept laughing", when all I did was something mundane like talking about something that happened during my one-hour train ride to school. Blah.

I really should practice writing - and I don't mean for work, but here, like I always did when I was younger. I don't know if it's because I write for a living now, or social media platforms like Instagram makes me lazy to catalog my life. Or maybe because nobody reads my blog these days, haha. I really should do something about it. I mean, this blog is where I can write fr…

Top 5 Skincare Products to Bring on Vacation

So.. I just got back from Vietnam last week! In case you don't know * embarrassed laugh* , it was my first time going so far *embarrassed laugh again* without my family! Which means I had to pack my own luggage and plan so many things myself!

Thinking back, the thing I was most worried about was baggage. We booked in a hurry – and I say again that I've never been so adventurous before – and my friends chose not to buy additional baggage. This meant that I could only carry a littleeeee bit of skincare products because of airline carry-on baggage requirements.

So I packed. Two weeks before my trip:

And I was quite proud of myself because I was like “ohhhh every single bottle is under 100ml! I'm not THAT suaku, after all!”

And THEN the weekend before, my sister pointed out that I was only allowed ONE ziploc bag – imagine my -.- ness.

I did it!

And I also had to checked if wet wipes and facial masks were considered liquids hahaha am I super noob or what? 
The thing is, I spent qu…


Hello there!

I'm going to on vacation this week! I was 17 years old the last time I got on a plane, so you can imagine that I'm a little nervous about it! It's also the first time I'll be going without my family! As well as the first time I'll be away from home for so long!

Now that (I think) I've caught the travel bug... I have this "no time, no money" thing. Now, why didn't I travel more when I was a student? Oh right -- back then, money was a bigger issue. Haha.

Now that I'm working, I can only afford (both money and time-wise) to go on two holidays a year. And maybe some short Malaysia/Indonesia in between. But the experience will be worth it! And I better go as much as I can while my friends are free. Hahaha. In a few years time, everyone will either be married or looking after their babies -- no time for me! I wish I had someone special to go on vacations with but well...



I haven't posting updates for a long time, no excuses for that!
I really wanted to post something about New Year's Day... hahaha. Or rather, New Year's Eve!
But I've been so tired lately.... Writing in the day doesn't give me much energy to write after-hours.

Well... two weeks ago, I went ice-skating. Hahaha. Or rather, as my friend Lydia says, ICE-WALKING. It was our first time trying out ice-skating and 90% of the time, we were hugging the side railings for our dear lives.

But it was a wonderful experience! I never thought I'd ever do it because you know... paranoid and everything hahahaha. But yeah super fun :D

Pics soon! :P