Sunday, October 25, 2015

I haven't abandoned this blog

Dear blog,

I wished I cataloged more of my here, the happy moments, like how I've done since I was fifteen. New people reading my blog will think I'm some emo-nemo angry girl. Then again maybe I shouldn't wish because FML my wishes always come true, even those I make rashly, on impulse (except the one about winning lottery and being the prettiest girl in the world. HAHA).

My blog may not be a living thing, but this song sums up what it has done for me. So thank you. 



Also, I need to make better wishes. Is it the way I phrased them? Was I not explicit enough? Next time I make a wish, I'd better state 100000 clauses.

My life has always worked this way: Whatever I need comes to me when I need it. New job? Sure. I need a new friend to bring me out of something? Sure (but of course, some have to leave when their role is done) . I need a mentor who sees my potential? Yeah. My makeup finished? Sure - Tomorrow's email: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE WON......

Of course, I had to work for them. They don't just appear magically. It's always the waiting and uncertainty that kills me. In everything. In waiting for my university grades, in the timing between my grades and my new job. Many things. Now that I look back on it, sure, everything always worked out in the end (albeit the pain and and on-the-verge-of-tears hopelessness). Why is my life always about trying, trying, trying and not knowing the end-result? Then again, I think that's how everybody's life is. Haha.

ZZZZZZ. Can I have crystal ball, please?

Oh well, whatever. Of course everything will be fine again. Then I will forget it all and move on to the next problem/hurdle in life. And then I can die. And maybe reincarnate and go through the process again. -.-

Man, why do the words "wait" and  "patient" exist? 

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