Showing posts from 2014


Got a piece of good news, and I think my happiness radiates hahaha my colleague noticed lol lol. But nobody knows why and and I hope nobody will try to guess because goodness knows what bright ideas they will come up with haha. 
If you have a guess in mind, I can tell you that you're wrong. :D 

I hope this is the first step to success, I really do. *crosses fingers*
And I really do hate waiting + uncertain outcomes. Bleah.
- In a super good mood today and won't let anything get me down -
Brought my selfie-stick today. And did you know, there's a new and improved see life stuck now - with inbuilt remote. Arghh. From $12 to $3, and now, a new version. I shall wait for the new one to retail at $3 then HAHA.


I know everybody has worked very hard to be where they are now but put in sooooo much looking and doing [insert everything that has to do with reaching my life goal] every day that there are some times that I feel like just going '"Forget it". Of course that feeling subsides in a few hours, haha but that few hours are a bit awful. Especially if you don't know if you'll really reach it.

You know, I never really stopped trying so I usually get what I want. But I don't know. Trying this hard for the next 50 years? Maybe things don't come easily to everyone. Maybe things do. Maybe I'm the only one who needs to work extra hard. Or maybe I only think I'm working extra hard to achieve what I want.

I don't know. Will I get there someday? It's like climbing a loooooong flight of stairs blindfolded, and not knowing when it's going to end. Like, am I in a shopping centre or Swissotel? Lol. Or if it will ever end. Or if I faint or collapse on t…

Sometimes I want to stop reading the news

This week, I've lost count of how many children have died from child abuse. I don't know how some people have the hearts to do such horrible things to a fellow human being, or more specifically,   their own flesh and blood. I mean, what wrong can a toddler do. Try to get your attention? Try to be sweet so that you will love them more? Because they're 2 years old and they don't have anyone else? It's not like they can go out to look for friends.
AND THEN YOU HIT HIM WITH A FRYING PAN. Most people I know are terrified of not being good-enough parents. I say if you're scared, you have the makings of a good parent. But some parents seem to be hell-bent on being awful parents. Or in this case, homicidal ones. ARGHHHH and this must be happening so much, behind closed doors.
The rape culture in UVA the Rolling Stones published had me fuming as well.
What has become of humanity?

I think it's happening again.

Sometimes I forget what I always say about not letting myself feel to happy. Because every time I do, things just seem to... fall apart. How did it come to this? Earlier this year I was feeling so happy and accomplished. A sudden turn of events, and now, all I feel is failure.

The end of last year was not a good one for me. And then suddenly wow everything changed, and it was like I got transported to fairyland. And then I waited months and months for something bad to happen... nothing did.
But of course, these things don't creep up on you. They SPRING up on you. Stupid me, right? After all this time... I should have known better.

You know some rough patches are temporary and make you a better person? Some are also quite...  detrimental. I don't know which one this is, but please. Make it the former. Argh. I really really want to be somebody brilliant or at least, reasonably successful. I know positivity is the key but there are times that I really doubt myself.

I always fel…

Stay Positive

Song of the day:  

If you've been following me, you'll realise that when I start talking in lyrics, I'm starting to catch a bug. The negativity bug. Bah. Have never had a strong immunity against this particular strain of bug. The only plus point is now I recognise the warning signs so maybe I can do something about it.

Like, running away.

Okay I'm kidding. I think.

Being Taken For a Ride

Is really no fun at all. Being taken for MANY rides is even worse.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot these days and...
Honestly, my worst fear isn't cats, bugs, or disgusting food. My worst fear is growing older to be jaded and having nothing to live for (except to fulfil basic physiological needs like food and hydration). And not being able to get out of that rut. Or worse, not being able to summon the drive/determination to get out of it. 
Because like I mentioned, that is just very sad. We're all here for a reason, be it a tiny or major contribution to the world (mine confirm tiny lol but I will make do). Life is short and as I'm able to type this - you know that I, likewise with most people around me, have the resources to go further, to pursue my dreams. And if we don't thank our lucky stars then we should read more rags-to-success stories and reflect on our the sheer audacity of our ungratefulness.
I am so afraid that one day I'll just get tired, jaded a…

The Folly of My Youth

Did you know, even if you take your old blog posts down like, eons ago...

Oh of course you do. We're all supposed to know that once something is posted online, there's no retracting it. I found some old photos from one of my very cringe-inducing blogs -.-. Don't know what came over me last time.

This are just some very roughly-anyhow-afewseconds version of how I WANTED to look. Not that it's not nice lah - there are people who are naturally thin like this and they are perfect the way they are. It's just that right now, it's how... unrealistic my expectations were that bugs me. And also the reasons behind wanting to be skinny -.-

And fortunately, back then, the Internet community wasn't as brutal as it is now. I think I got quite a few nice, concerned-filled comments from people I didn't know in real life. HAH. Those were the days.

Oh, and  look at the phone. That's how old these photos are.

Moral of the story? Don't upload photos - ever. Be…

Hi Again!

I am so tired! From what? From choosing 9 pieces of clothing items I won in a contest :P won a hamper and that was one of the prizes, yay! :D

This evening, I managed to get my favourite seat on the bus even when I was like, the 15th person to board! I really like that seat because it's so... Away from the crowd. Which means no farts/burps/scratching/sweet-sucking and all the noises which make claw my way out of the window and jump out of a moving vehicle RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXPRESSWAY. It is horrible to be allergic to noise, okay. Especially never-ending ones. Sometimes I feel awful for being so gor tak, but I really don't get the Suck Sweet Vigourously And Make The Loud Smacking Noise Thing lah. Does it enhance the eating experience or what?
I am going to write a food review now because I enjoy it and I happen to have inspiration now! Tata! 
Today I received photos from the pro photographer and I think WAH ok *find a corner to hide*. Like, why does my broccoli look li…


I will get through this! I think it's just a transition thing, and if everything is just fine and dandy, all the way, it means that I haven't grown, right? *flex arm emoticon*
And it's everything I ever wanted to do! I was so estatic when I finally got the chance to chase my dreams - like WOW THINGS ARE FINALLY FALLING INTO PLACE. (And then I won't do rash things anymore - like chop 1/2 of my hair off lol)
Just need to try a little more everyday, and soon everything will add up and pay off!! 
Things ALWAYS work out for me eventually even though (I think) it takes more time (and maybe effort) then the average person but it's ok because I look back at all my milestones and achievements and I think the efforts are worth it! 
And sigh. How come the things that go viral are things that I have done before. And also somewhat the same standard but nothing ever comes out of mine :/
It's just like how many fanfics are better written than the multi-million revenue books. Maybe…