Sunday, September 29, 2013

One Good Turn Deserves Another

I know that isn't true in real life, but I just like to dream.
On the bus watching people kick/trip over this stick and wondering how long it'd take for someone to move it aside #didnthappen #stupidhumans #sodifficultmeh

I've got this habit of picking up plastic or pieces of paper on the street because I'm afraid that if I don't, somebody will slip and fall. Sometimes when I do that, people will tell me "Why did you do that? It's not like anybody else will do the same. Nobody cares."

But you know, when I think back to the times I've done little things like that and I'm thinking.... I could have saved a life haahaha!  Like... what if I didn't pick up that plastic bag and a cute little old lady stepped on it, fell backwards, and hit her head? :(

But my friends/family are right. NOBODY IS AS STUPID AS ME. Because 90% of the world are so freaking self-centred. They won't do sh*t to help others, but when sh*t happens to them they complain till the cows, pigs, giraffes, and polar bears come home.

But you know what? I still choose to be stupid because 10% of decent humans still give me hope and I don't mind doing things if there's a chance that it will help them. So the 90% of the self-centred idiots are just very tapping on the 10%'s good deserves. Cheapskate leeches. Hahaha.

Every now and then I am half-inclined to stop giving a crap. But then somebody will do little nice things like helping me with heavy doors with big smiles and then I'll be like, 'awwwww so nice ok lah I'll be nice too!"

I WILL BE THE BIGGER PERSON. Because if I am selfish to selfish idiots, the cycle will continue for sure. But if I am nice (albeit reluctantly), maybe they will gradually become nice too and it will spread!

Hahaha who am I kidding.

Anyway,  they are not worth thinking about, that's why I'm thinking of the good people in my life instead!!! Come to think of it, as much as the suckiest part of life is having to depend on others sometimes, I have a lot of people who like me and I like them back. So thank you :)

And the picking up trash thing is just an example, the only thing I can think of right now. Hey, I never said I was anything better than average, right? I don't know why I am such an insignificant human being but at least I am not totally useless. The only thing I can do to help the world is to pick up trash but well THERE IS NO GOOD DEED TOO SMALL and if it makes ME happy then it's my business. Ever heard of the butterfly effect?

Oh, I'm wondering how many selfish idiots slipped on plastic bags today. And I hope my friends and all the nice people in the world have sweet dreams tonight every night!! ^^

There are times I wanna become rich and powerful and be only nice to nice people and when selfish people beg for help I'll be like "Oh please!"
Especially people with very vixen-ish eyes hmphhhh.

Monday, September 23, 2013

How to say Goodbye to Bullies

Bullies. Ah. I've never gotten as far as being bullied, but intimidated and put down, yes,

But you know what?

Nowadays I'm caring less and less and less.

And you know why?


Look at the people who always seem to have it in for everyone. The bullies, the people who try to make you feel back about yourself, intimidate you, put you down...



I've met a few. I. a.k.a pushover, always let them get the better of me, but now that I sit down and think about it... I think they deserve my pity instead. Yes, pity, not sympathy.

 Look closer, and you'll realise that there is a certain aspect(s) of their lives that suck(s) more than regular people. Bad marriages, relationships, self-esteem, self-image, many things.

And if you let them win, you are stupid like I was.

But you know what you can do? I'm not going to say something adults love to say "OH JUST IGNORE THEM!". Obviously those adults live in fairyland, because asking someone to pretend not to see a bully is like asking tweens to pretend not to notice 1 Direction in their school cafeteria.

BUT... You can PRETEND to ignore bullies. Be as happy as you can, or at least pretend to. And  They'll get tired of @#$%^ing, and pretty soon there won't be a need to pretend! :D

Not that I am pretending to be happy because woohooo, I don't think I've ever felt this good for a long looooooooong time!!! If you are trying to put me down than I'll just assume that you are jealous of my uber-awesome life hohohohoho :D

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Lucky oh I'm so Lucky

So you know for the first time in 4 years I've been 'free-er' than usual. This Saturday there was a free giveaway for some branded clutch for the first 800 readers of a female magazine and GUESS WHO WENT?!?!?!

I haven't had the time to take a good pic yet but here's a quick shot (it really looks a lot better in real life)

Me, duh. And it's such a pretty clutch! Genuine leather, too, smells absolutely divine (though I am really very sorry if any animals were hurt, ok). And I only had to queue for less than 30 minutes because it was a working day. Anyway, I was far from bored because the women/girls around me were very chatty. It's funny how easily people can make friends when they common topics haha.

And I said I was lucky becauseeeeeeeeeee. Okay you see, there were 4 colours and I really really liked the fuchsia one. But the clutches were given out randomly so I only had a 25% chance of getting one so I was like... awwwwww not so lucky one lah.


Oh and the second thing. I'm studying Film Art this semester. Which obviously means I'll need to analyse some films. And the very, very kiasu person I am, I just HAD to get the films and watch them over and over and over again. I could get them from the library, but the loan period's just two weeks. The films I was looking for are really old so I really didn't expect to have an easy time purchasing one.

I don't know how and when and why, but I just.... got them. And cheap. I don't want to bore you with explanations, but THE ODDS ARE LIKE 1 OUT OF 1000. Because it's not like we get to study easy obtainable films like The Hunger Games or Harry Potter.

I finally got the payment for my write-ups that I have been (to put it politely) 'following up with' for so long that I almost gave up. :D

I've been having problems thinking about a thesis topic, and was feeling horrible because of the looming deadline. My mind was blank and I was feeling so very hopeless.

But The Bachelor may not be as brain-decaying as people say because......  I'M OFFICIALLY GIVEN THE GREEN LIGHT TO START ON A THESIS ON REALITY TV HELLO HOW COOL IS THAT. :D

I just hope I'm lucky enough to pass this because I really want to graduate as soon as possible :(

So the deadline's next week, and since I've FINALLY got a topic to start on, I headed to the library to borrow some books. The books I need are scattered all over Singapore, and  I'd be wasting a lot of time if I travelled everywhere to get them But guess what, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET THEM IN TWO DAYS BECAUSE THE SYSTEM WORKS LIKE THIS.

I really hope there won't be any hiccups because I want to get the best grade I can.

I don't know who I should thank, but thank you thank you thank you :)


Sunday, September 15, 2013

Stupid Things I do.

I was clearing stuff from all my SD Cards when I came across some photos. Last time I super bu yao lian hor hahaha. So many selfies and 80% of the time were from awkward angles. And then I couldn't bear to look at them, so I just put the cards aside and bought new ones for new photos.
At some point, I decided this should end or I'd end up with like, 50 SD cards, and an empty bank account. Thus the decision to grit my teeth and browse/sort out/delete photos. Turns out that it wasn't as bad as I thought.....And this lot is so funny so I thought I'd share hahahahaha.
GOSH what was I trying to do? I don't quite remember what came over me, was I trying to be like, cool or versatile or something? Because I usually prefer the act-cute-until-buyaolian pics. Btw these photos were taken in early 2011, one of the most... trying points of my life so I think I can be excused.

This is me giving a look of distaste haha. It is actually how I look  every time I see Bitchface complaining about her life on Facebook. AWWW I feel so sorry for her. NOT. Because as I'm typing this, she's probably victimising another poor girl. Or bitching very vindictively about how ugly Jessica Alba/Miranda Kerr/Dianna Agron/you get the point is. Or describing some poor stranger's hair/clothes/whatever meanly. Or bitching about unmarried people. That woman really needs to get a life.
Looking back I think I did sound/write like a lunatic. I'll be very, very busy this month with schoolwork, but I'll be back to upload funny photos hahahahahah.

Till then, hope everyone's feeling fabulous, and if it's one thing I learnt from that horrible 3 years of horribly crushed self-image, it's never to let people who don't matter dictate your life. You know, sometimes people love putting others down because deep down, they are the saddest, loneliest, insecure people. Somehow, putting others down make them feel better. Now, we don't want to give awful people that, do we? Just let them go on and on and on and on make big fat fools of themselves. You just stay awesome!

Oh, and this is how I got that photo. From a random thumbnail. Hope I'm getting a bit better at speaking and articulating myself because IT'S GOING TO BE 2014 SOON!

Ok bye for real now!! Anyway, in case anyone's wondering, I think I'm (it's about time, huh?) over this being pressured by BitchFace situation thing. Because I bumped into a friend last week, and I recognised  the signs (that she was kinda going through what I was) and was able to offer advice when usually I'd have been like OMG WHY AM I EVEN ALIVE. WHY WAS I EVER BORN. I HATE MYSELF I WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING :(:(:(


Friday, September 13, 2013

When Humans Like to See Other Humans Fall

Today, I got home to see this girl called Ah Ting trend on Twitter. And since that was totally untypical, my curiosity was piqued and WOW PEOPLE ARE SO HORRIBLY BRUTAL NOWADAYS.

Is that a sick new form of entertainment or what?

So this 13 year old girl sent some you-know-what photos of herself to her boyfriend, and you-know-the-drill, the little twat sent it out. But what follows is just... sad. And really. Make cyber-bullying a crime already!!!

Sometimes that makes me wish that social media never existed (coming from me the Instagram Addict).  I see GIRLS circulating the photos, and poking fun at the victim. Seriously. I kid you not, those little girls are actually having fun seeing another girl fall. And when asked to remove their tweets by the non-sadistic humans, you will not believe their smart-ass answers. They should be ASHAMED of themselves. Let's just say if any kid of mine were to speak like that, she is going to TAKE IT ALL BACK and never utter such bullcrap again.

I think the victim's only problem was trusting the wrong person. And notice when I said 'problem' and not 'fault'. And if you're saying "She's 13! She should have known!!".......

Well, let me tell you now,  some douches can be pretty convincing charmers. Hey, even nice girls can be victims too. I mean, even if you're with your husband, who's to say that something like that won't happen? You could have a decent, Mr Nice Guy husband everybody THINKS is nice. But oh the moment things go downhill... He could transform into The Biggest Nightmare You Have Ever Had. And with your guard down... Well, the closer you are, the more you have to lose.

So, it kind of boils down to luck, and I don't know if it'll work for you like it works for me but, these days, not trusting no one is better than trusting the wrong one.

With every nude picture (usually of pretty girls, I wonder why) comes the slut-shaming. "Slut" this, "slut" that. By the way, little girls should learn to use the dictionary. "Slut" and 'Exhibitionist" have different definitions.

Heck, if I had a reasonable nice body, I would do it! I just wouldn't like to send it to anyone. When you're 70 (poor memory and all), don't you think there's a possibility that you wanna look how young and beautiful you once were? I mean, even Rose from Titanic (fictional as she was) did it. But oh well I can barely look at myself in the mirror so I probably won't get into trouble for naked selfies.

When humans go berserk like that, there is no stopping them. The only thing that makes me feel better is the word 'Karma'. I'm no saint myself (but I do try to be nice), that all evil doings have to be paid for.

This girl is going to  grow up and learn from her mistakes (the hard way, of course) and the other girls are going to grow up and... Actually, I don't even want to know what kind of people they'll grow up to be, being as sadistic as they are now in their prepubescent years.

Maybe something's gonna happen to them someday. When sh*t befalls them, and they'll be like oh boo hoo hoo why am I so unlucky? Why can't people be more compassionate? But life's like this. Nobody ever cares about anything, AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO THEM.

That said, why are girls always on the losing end? Why can guys go topless and girls can't? And why are private parts supposed to be "private" or "offensive"?  Who/what brought this about? Because if not, then there'll be significantly less trauma in the world. I mean, humans will still try to hurt each other, but at least they'll be deprived of one less hurt factor. Boo hoo for the sadistic brutes then.

Stay classy, people. There are other things to do besides gloating over other people's misfortunes.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Half Asleep So This May Not Make Sense

I sitting on a swing.
Swinging, swinging  higher and higher. Then I saw a magnificient waterfall. Massive. Think Niagara Falls.
And at the side were man-made waterfalls.
And for the first time in life, I wasn't afraid of the swinging.
And I don't usually remember dreams even immediately after. Hmmm..
Or maybe I was down the waterfall, and on the other side it was a beach.
I jumped off the swing even though, you know, under normal circumstances that would have been suicide.
But no, I landed gracefully. (Edit: HAHA SHOULD HAVE ALREADY GUESSED IT WAS A DREAM)
And one of my friends was in a shelter thing and pulling a lever... Hope I make sense to myself tomorrow morning or waking up is a stupid waste

As I'm editing the (nauseating/disgusting/horrible) grammatical and spelling errors now, I don't quite remember this. And as much as it must have made perfect sense In my half-asleep state, it doesn't now. And to think, I actually made the effort to half-wake up for this

Sunday, September 8, 2013

My Hair Obsession

I am supposed to be watching my lecture recording now. But all I'm doing is having these random thoughts, and looking at my hair and back view on video. And yes, I definitely need a haircut. It's a bit too long and layered.  I KNOW it'd look good shorter.


Because I sat right in front of the camera on purpose, so that I could see how my hair looks like from the back, when they upload the lecture recordings. Thoughts like these are going though my mind now:

"OMG that's an irritating stray lock of hair"
"Hmmm.. maybe a short bob will look better."
"Is my hair too layered? That girl beside has less layered hair and I think that'd work for me."
"Ok maybe this is what I should do in future. Sweep my hair to the side".
"And while I sweep it to one side, must make sure I don't leave like one lock of my hair at the back. Because somebody's gonna find it irritating and snip it off when I'm not paying attention.
"Oh my I really wanna stretch my arm into the screen and snip that mass of too-long hair off"

So I took some pretend-short hair photos. Some people I've asked think I look better with longer hair. I don't know if it's because they are used to it or what, but I think shorter hair would be a refreshing change not to mention it would literally take a huge load off my shoulders hahaha.

Short, longer, longest. I tried to keep all the variable constant (oh gosh I HATE that module!)

So yep, these are the photos just for kicks. I'm going to cut my hair no matter what people say, because people have contrasting views and there is only one me (thankfully for the phantom me because looking like me isn't really something worth celebrating hahaha)

Do you know how many photos I took that day before I came to a decision about cutting my hair? Btw I took these two months ago and I'm still struggling HAHAHA.
Here you go. Yes I know I'm terrible. And this is not counting the horrible ones I deleted. AND the ones on my phone. AND the ones in my other camera.  I don't know why some of my friends tell me "I wish I could be as calm and decisive as you."
At this point, I've deleted another 90% of the photos I took. They all look similar anyway. HAHA. And I also took away those that will give Little-Miss-Is-She-Even-My-Friend-and- can-she-stop-comparing-every-aspect-of-our-lives-and-trying-to-trump-me a chance to spew vomit about my big face and her small face. Which FYI she is delusional about.

And girls, if you really want to compete, pick people of higher calibres to compete with, and not lil old me! Aim higher, strive further :D

Anyway, I have adopted a Don't Care Attitude with The Bitchfaces and Is-She-My-Friend-Or-Nots of the world. I just don't want to give them the pleasure of making themselves feel better HAHAHA.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Sometimes when I go shopping

You know, here in Singapore, it's not everyday that we don't see a loooong queue for the fitting room. And what's better than two fitting rooms, side-by-side, with no fellow shoppers outside (with imaginary accusing expressions) pressuring us to try with haste?

There you have it. Luck. One fine day in a magically non-crowded store. Ah, nothing beats the luxury of time. I have this habit of taking photos (when no signs say No Photos Allowed, duh) when I can't buy something. At least I can look at them :D

I was (what's new) telling my friend that I wanted to try a new style, and she suggested layering. Saw some cardigans on sale, so we decided to grab some tops. And since these tops look kinda nice and I never ever wear sleeveless tops in public, PICTURE TIME!! And yes, I know the black bra is a bit... but I didn't foresee trying on a translucent shirt!
So we experimented with these. I never say nice ah, I say experiment! So no smart-ass remarks please. Estimated my size wrongly, hahaha. Obviously. *scrutinises 3rd pic*
Ooooh this one. I would have bought it if it didn't cost $39. It's laid-back, comfy, cute, plain and yet not boring... I could go on and on and on.
Spent about 20 minutes pondering over  this pair of shorts. I already own quite a few pairs, but it's not easy for  me to find shorts that fit. Pains of having a massive butt. At this point, I was thinking against buying it, hence the "Remembrance Snapshot".
Ended up succumbing to the big blue stars and bought it hahahaha. But later realised  it was too short. And besides, when I sit down, my thighs make up the 8th continent.
Note to self: when buying shorts next time, pretend to sit down.

And whooooo I got a tattoo! Just a tiny one, what I've always wanted! Nah kidding. As pretty as it is, I don't think I'll ever get a tattoo because what am I gonna do if I get tired of it?

Oh, another picture for  my Virtual Scrapbook. These come in Gold and Silver. Couldn't decide which one to get, so I decided on neither. Wow wow wow, this virtual scrapbooking idea can sure save me lots of money. The only problem is, not all places allow photo-taking!

And for a second time this month, I found brand new makeup testers! Am I lucky or what :D
But no, I chiong-ed to buy TOTO but never win sian. Felt so good trying  brand new ones even though it's just on the hand. Unbelievably smooth and I just KNOW they won't be drying! All the shades are so wearable and I feel some affinity with the orange one omgggggg. AND THEY GLIDE ON EFFORTLESSLY Was so tempted to get em all there and then, but I've got another 10+ at home so... Must Not Waste Must Not Waste.

And you know what hahaha. It's 12am now and my mum woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. So she came to my room. And before that I had my usual Paranoia Over Impending Insect Attack episode, so I sprang out of bed coz I thought a ginormous beetle was gonna come get me. And then she commented about my 'shock', and now I feel guilty and self-conscious for no reason. Is it me or does she sound suspicious?
OMG maybe it's because I was watching The Bachelor haha. But then again. Nothing wrong with that, right? I mean, it's just a (perhaps scripted) TV program about beautiful people falling deeply in love with multiple people at the same time and getting engaged within 6 weeks, and 24 'oh-I-am-so-confused people" crying over 'broken hearts'.

Oh, as cynical as I sound now,

d@mn, this program, as brain-cell decaying as some say it is, is addictive. The power of the entertainment industry. Brilliant. No wonder they make so much money each year.

Oh, and because I am (kinda) pokng fun at others, I should be fair and poke fun at myself too. Here are two photos my friend secretly took of me when I was taking photos of myself. #sefieception HAHA