A new chapter of my life starts tomorrow

Hello.

It's the first day of my new job tomorrow, and I feel so... I don't even know how I feel. I hope I'm not alone, and having The First Day Jitters is the norm. Like, what if people hate me at first sight? It's not like I look sweet, cute, or approachable and I definitely don't have a smile that would make people instantly go OOOOOOH SHE'S A GOOD PERSON. What if nobody talks to me, or if people talk to me and I make a bad first impression, so bad that nobody talks to me again, ever?

How long will I take to settle in? What if I'm not as good as they thought/I hope to be? I know I'll take some time to settle in and I probably won't be like, The Employee of the Week on my first day, or even month, but I am dreading the transition period so.

This isn't even my first job, but I haven't had a First Job in 4 years. I've had two other holiday jobs in offices, so I don't suppose they count.

Today, I bought a Hunger Games Trilogy (and I'm feeling so I-can't-even-describe-it-now, I typed The Hungry Games hahaha) Box Set and when I unwrapped it, I realised that one of the books was damaged. Why. On the first day of December? ENOUGH ALREADY.

But then again, just like how "people only remember the bad things', good things have happened to me too. I won a some Kiehl's travel sized products, a Tarte Cosmetics Kit, and a pink Hello Kitty Digital Camera this week! And the second two were by luck. I hope these Good Luck signs outweigh that bad one!

Also, I hope people don't think I'm cold and unfriendly! These days, I'm not exactly shy, but my face and mouth structure gives off fierce vibes and I promise that is such a far cry from my personality! Sometimes I turn my webcam on when I'm doing my work and GOSH I SCARE MYSELF. I can't quite put a finger on what's wrong with my face. I mean, it's not like I can smile all the time - that would be weird.

You know, I think I realise why I caught the stomach flu and then missed my exams. Or I'm making up reasons for it. Both ways, I benefit, and maybe the extra year I "incurred" would serve as a reminder throughout the year for me. You know what? I'll insist now that this is a lesson. Must as well make the most of it.

 I wish I'm as funny, witty and likeable as Ellen DeGeneres ahhhhh. I have and will do my best, and I guess a little luck won't hurt! And of course I won't be one of those people who get branded as 'pretentious' because they try too hard.

Okay bye, I'm going to practise my smile in the mirror. It's so unfair! Some mean people have very nice natural smiles! And my teeth are so small that I look strained when I smile alshdlHKJHSDWUUW.

But then again, the security guards and receptionists seemed friendly enough, and people aren't usually friendly to unapproachable looking people, right?

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