Sunday, October 14, 2012

NOISY INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBOURS

Some of you have heard me complaining about my veryyy niceeee neighbours. A few months back, I mean, Now I hardly notice the noise they make anymore.
 
You know, the ones who play musical chairs in the middle of the night?

Or feel the incessant need to shift their furniture around, almost every single day?

Or are trying to break the World Record by having the most number of thumbtacks hammered on the floor?

Or training to be the next Usain Bolt. Though it'd be difficlt because of space constraints - flats in Singapore aren't that humongous, you know?

Oh at least nobody plays with marbles. But marbles ok la. Because it means little kids are playing and they are so cute so I can shut one eye :D

I'm attuned to the noise enough to ignore it most of the time, but OMG YESTERDAY... THEY REALLY DID IT.

They....






They.....





Ahhhhhh......





You're gonna go 'WTF', I know.




But it ws traumatising HAHAHA





But I'm you have or WILL experience something like that.





THEY INTERRUPTED (and ended) MY DREAM.




Ok la it was a bit past 11pm, not THAT late, but had an early night coz I was extremely tired. I had the most AMAZING DREAM ever (though I can't remember anything now). Seriously, it was amazing, like if my wildest dream came true, around that level. And at the most CRUCIAL part of the dream...


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. PLONKKKKKKKKK. AHHHHHHHHHH, BANGGGGGGGGGG.
 
I woke up with a start. Tried my very very best to remember the dream so that I could go back to sleep and continue it... but :(:(:(:(:(
 
 
Have you ever tried to go back to sleep just to continue your dream? Haha.

Monday, October 8, 2012

You probably want to slap me after this

But then again, we're getting older and I wouldn't dare do silly poses like that in a couple of years!
 
 
 

 
 
But here's what (oh look I found a mode which gets a good shot under low light!) REALLY wants to make me slap someone. People who pose with alcoholic drinks for the sake of posing with alcholic drinks. And write captions like 'I LOVE PARTYING'. 'WE ALL DRANK VERY *insert ridiculous which I cannot mention or they will know I am talking about them*". Haha. Oh I'm sorry, but does drinking make you a cool cat? Sorry la maybe I old liao. Want to ask me go club is like asking me to go die HAHA. Cannot sia me go one.
 
And besides I don't drink because I wanna (imagine that I) get high. Because if you get 'high' on beer you must have drank enough to fill a million camels. So if you say you got 'high' on beer because you 'partied' too much, You are either a camel or just a poser. Most likely the latter. Ok and here's a pic of a luscious, luscious 1/2 pint of beer (1 too expensive lah plus I don't want to be PARTAYYY GIRL by drinking ONE WHOLE PINT (sarcastic) leh. Aiyah should have camwhored with the cup a bit more hor. Then I can be cool :D Or can do troll post.
 
And I am not contradicting myself. The pint just happened to be there because lighting in pubs are always nicer! At least I nv go pub and call myself partygirl HAHA. Coz I always go pub gossip only haha. I must call myself gossipmonger. Gossip until very *ridiculous word*.
 
HAHA YOU ALL DON'T  SAY I ACT ATAS HOR. MY SINLGLISH SUPER GOOD. And for editors who may be my future employers, please be assured that I can switch from Standard English to Singlish, any time I like :)
 
 
 
Okay Bye hahaha. And here's another video of me practicing my 'speaking skills'. Very pathetic to have to practice something that comes to most people naturally, but well.. I can't give up on myself just because of that, right? So, I'm gonna post a video every few months and you can see if I've improved! And I know the number of 'I's uttered is annoying. hahaha.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Double eyelid surgery(HAHA) and somebody threw shit at me

Actually, I don't think somebody threw shit at me. Well, not exactly, anyway. I only wanted to catch your attention. Haha.



It's a complicated story. Or maybe it's only complicated because I'm not Enid Blyton (you know, brilliant and engaging storyteller).

So I had this really bad bout of eye problems on Friday, and on Tuesday (armed with wet wipes, and hand sanitiser, duh), I finally dragged myself to see a doctor. And also because I scared the shit outta myself when I Geh Kiang and Googled the symptoms.




I swear, Google is my BFF but sometimes I think we're Frenemies. The more I dig deeper... the more far-fetched things get. Like this meebo thing I saw on Instagram.



Oh here's a pic of my eyes if you're interested.

Sunday:
 
 
Okay. More than one pic.
 
Monday: "Double Eyelid Procedure" Day 4
I look like I just had cosmetic surgery to get double eyelids. Don't ask me why the swelling's at the bottom instead of the top now. I have no idea too!
Ok but jokes aside (btw my priority is sawing  off my bigfatjaw), I was panicking. And one eyebrow is higher than the other.





 
Tuesday: Double eyelid surgery aftermath Day 5.
WOOHOO At least I can see eyelids now! But  (again) seriously. I had it. Went to see a doctor.
 
 
 
Saturday:   Day 9 (NOW, actually)
I see triple eyelids. Actually I'm still panicking but it's ok maybe God is finally giving me Deep-Set eyes. Because God know how long I've been bugging him to look at least a bit pretty. So maybe a magical change is happening!! Maybe I've got a Fairy Godmother or something. Like in some Disney movie or some Science Fiction thing.

 
Anyway the doctor said I got stye (and 3 of them, Google it yourself).
I am the Stye Queen lol just that the upper eyelid one just felt feels wierd.
不知道看到设么东西. Amanda must be your cleavage la!


SO BACK TO THE SHIT STORY.
 

I was walking home, and at the same time, texting someone to tell her not to expect me today.... when I heard a trickling noise.. and the next split second... some brown liquid on my hands (and shirt also, but I only realised that later). I was like:

"WAH LAU who's that inconsiderate fool? Anyhow throw food out of the window! Don't know how to use dustbin ah? Later kena your neighbour's clothes, how?".

And the next split second... The stench hit me. I said a very bad word. Fucking disgusting ok! Imagine having god-knows-whose shit on your HANDS.
I can still remember the smell ahhhhh. Horrible. Overpowering (though it was just a bit). Unforgettable.


I thought it was like... soy sauce or something somebody just conveniently throw out of their house but oh no f**king no. You have no idea how mortified I was when the stench floated up. I have never smelt anything more powerful in my life. Not even when I had the worse case of food poisoning. Or when the sewer pipes broke. Ok fine. I've never experienced sewer breakage, but you get the point.

And when I wiped the ...WATER off with tissue, the smell was still there WTF.
OK la. At least it didn't land on my head. Or else lagi worse.

Anyway I was too traumatised and I immediately thought it was birdshit. I wanted to rush home to bathe IMMEDIATELY but the smell was really too bad, so I rushed to NTUC (for  Non-Singaporeans, that's a supermarket/grocery store) to buy wet wipes. I wanted to cryyyyyyyy because the stench was bloody unbearable! Took the shortest Queue (AND IT WAS EXPRESS QUEUE!) only to.....


Sorry about the bad words - i was traumatised la and you'd only understand if you really experience it! :(



TRIVIA TIME
Went to Google (haven't learnt my lesson), and was taken in by all The Evils of Bird Poop ANd the Diseases They Bring About and I almost started to prepare for a bout of deadly infection or pneumonia already #noshit #pardonthepun.

Anyway, after reading all that.. I became The Bird Poop Expert.
 
Did you know, bird poop's usually white-ish, has a toothpaste-like consistency, and if your bird's poop smells, it's most likely sick? And sometimes, the colour of their poop tells you what kinda sickness they've got! Oh yeah and sick bird's poop's toxic if inhaled too much. Especially if it's left out todry - most bacteria. Happens in soil and attics ususally. (Told you am a pro now) #callmeshushupedia


And then I came to this conclusion...

I thought somebody might have sabo-ed me. Some people dislike seeing others texting &walking ( I promise I almost never do it). Perhaps somebody wanted to teach me a lesson.
 
 
And the CSI fan I am.... I went back to the Crime Scene. Actually I wanted to:
1) Pretend to walk & text and see if anyone threw shit at me but I chickened out!
2) Stand, observe and catch the shit-thrower pourer (since it was so damn watery) red-handed
3) See if it was a simple case of sewer pipe breakage (it wasn't, btw)

 

*Puts on my best Mac Taylor Face*
After some extensive (albeit angsty) investigation... I officially draw my final conclusion.

It wasn't bird poop, it wasn't human poop. Well not really, anyway. I think it was most likely fertilizer. Notice that almost every floor has potted plants? And how the second and third floor has brown residue? Somethig must have overflowed la. I mean... we live in a crazy world but surely no one would throw shit randomly, right?


My next project is to catch all the Pigeon Feeders.
Yours,
Shu Shu, Crime Scene Investigator Wannabe.
 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Can You Understand This?

Since I don't know what to write about (notice 10 days of absence) and  blog hits decreased drastically because of that, here's something. I'm going to write about anything that comes to my mind WITH MY EYES CLOSED. 

                     Here it is, and I swear I changed nothing!
Dear diary, actyually I don't know what to wrote abnyt. I have been thinking and thkning dor ages., and have come to no concluision. This is why I a, typing with mty eyes closed now. I can imahge ithe whole thing is jigberris niy O dn't want to cheat because ttat ios wrongggg. Opops i jst opened my eyes for a bit. I didn't do as badly as I thought! I;m listening to Marrom 4 on the radio now. Oh fosh. Adam Leabin os sooo HOYTTTTT. And you think there us a chance that I'll get rthis perfect? MAybe I should LEarn The Art of Fingering. Which sounds wrong. I think. Heh Heh. FIntering I mean you know, they right way , like er,m. when we larnt in Paimar s choool ;ike which finger whou;ld be on which key and that. Ok I need to open my eyes and see what kind of mess I made!!  

I guess it's still ok. If you spend like an hour, you'd totally understand :D


And like always, due to boredom and because I can't get over the fact that I've FINALLY gotten a nice phone with a camera at the front.. here're some pics I took on the Taxi on Thursday (OMG I KNOW MAN. SHURIN. ON A CAB. You can buy lottery. Thank me later!)
 
Actually, I took about 10. But only 5 are passable. Well, that's an improvement, because I usually have to take about 20 to get an 'okay' pic! I LOVE YOU, FRONT CAMERA, even though you're only VGA! Good thing about blur photos - no need to edit.
 

Oh and I went back to Chocolate Origin for my favorite  Warm Chocolate Lava Cake! Simply to die for, totally worth the calories.
 
 
Second look. Ooze, ooze baby. I'd show you how moist the sponge is, but brown doesn't always... turn out right. ;)

Oh and Wardha dug this photo out.

When I look at this again, actually, I wasn't THAT ugly when I was schooling.  Haha.