Why I paid $200+ just to get someone to Shut Up

Have you ever stepped into a spa/grooming salon/gym..

Then the  very aggressive staff just drone on and on and on about how you should live your life  sign up for their packages?

And when you agree, they'll be like "actually there is a much better one' ?


And then The Better Package gradually snowballs to become .....

The Million Dollar Package That Can LAST Until Your Great-Grandchildren Have Great-Grandchildren? 

And fine, I'm ranting, but you gotta admit, those promotion tactics are helluva annoying. I mean the tactics, not the staff, because I'm pretty sure they don't loveeeeee cornering, ganging up, and uttering torrents and torrents of numbers and act like cats fighting for fish.
I just spent $200 buying a package, and all because I wanted to SHUT THEM UP. Like buying my way out of prison LOLOLOL.


They never, never take no for an answer
and will continue talking the shit out of themselves until the customer gives in. Or screams STFU and stomps away, hopefully shattering the glass door in the process. It's usually the former, unfortunately.


And now, I'm feeling like shit because all I'm thinking is..
"What if they go bankrupt and all my money flies away?"

Selling Tactic 1:
Every single time... at your most vulnerable moment, the stylist (or whatever you call her), suggests some other service. Which frankly, is kinda hard to answer when you're gonna have like 50 hair follicles being ripped off your skin at one go. 

Selling Tactic 2: 
If you 逃过那一届, another hurdle is waiting for you at the counter. 2nd round of selling, and you begin to think saying no is a sin. Even if you're a paying customer. Like the level with the stupid dragon in SuperMario. Win or die. I've never gotten past that level.  Figures.


I don't know if the peeps who do Brazilian waxing promote their packages like that, but if they do... while unethical, I'm sure their sales will go sky-freaking-high. Because firstly. Who is in the mood to even THINK and consider the prices an stuff in such a... vulnerable position? And who, tell me. Who even dares to even piss the waxer off a little? It's all in the power, I tell you. Very Christian Grey-ish, just not in a glamorous way.

I mean, I understand it's the job and they are required that, but ethics-wise, there should be a limit, no? Don't you think this is something for senior management, or even, the authorities to look into?


I mean think about it, tactics like this are freaking stupid. Even though they are the best I have come across, I'm having second thoughts about continuing with them because the trepidation when I enter their shop is too much to bear. I feel like I am undergoing interrogation with CIA you know??????

Every single time, before I step into the shop, I'll take a deep breath, and repeat my mantra: "DON'T WAVER. DON'T WAVER. You are a strong, independent woman. You can do this. Yes you can."

Okay that was a bit dramatic but you get the point. 


EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I head to the counter, at least 3 staff will be all ready, trying to push/pressure/psycho you tp buy their stupid packages, leaving me no time to even think or consider my mind was just screaming OMG OMG 放过我吧求求你啦!!

Why do I still go? Because so far, they're the best. Actually, they're so good they don't even need to bug people. 


TODAY
I wanted to buy a smaller package today, but because of their fucking aggressive tactics (and you know I wouldn't curse if I wasn't that ... traumatized). OK la so you know I bought the bigger package which can last me like 3 years. But no fuck no, that wasn't enough. THEY HAD TO PROMOTE MORE AND MORE AND MORE THINGS. Like refer my friends, Christmas gifts... bla bla bla. I couldn't catch anything after  while. Or didn't bother.

Whoever their bosses are, you are rotten jerks, and I hope you get cornered and pestered to buy like... shitty stuff that you don't need for extravagant prices. But then again, you wouldn't mind, because you're laughing all the way to the bank anyway after having your staff rattling off numbers and OH LOOK, YOU WILL SAVE $20 MORE IT MAKES MORE SENSE RIGHT with a *are-you-stupid-or-what-and-I talk-so-much-already-if-you-reject-I-will-dulan-one-ah face*



Actually, now I realize there's a way to get around this. 

If you don't want to buy:
1) Just look blank, and keep repeating. NO. NO NO.

2) n your best android voice.  
3) You can try crazy eyes as well

If you want to buy a $100 Package: 

1) Pretend to be very interested in the $50 package.
2) They will pester you to buy the $100 one. CONFIRM.得寸进尺is what businesses are.
3) Look very vexed and indecisive
4) Say.. OK LA sloooooowly and very reluctantly (let them think they power)
5) BOTH PARTIES GET WHAT THEY WANT! :D


But then again, there's a bright side to everything.
$200+++ is a lot, but not as much as others. For example, a gym membership. I'm meeting a lady from the gym tomorrow, and this time, I'll stand firmly on my ground, FOR REAL. Because gym memberships are real killers on wallets of sweet young girls like myself HAHA. 


Tomorrow I shall be very thick-skinned, and buy a package only if I need it. If the lady gets pissed off, then too bad. No business forever, even when I'm filthy rich!

And please please please. Don't go bankrupt on me, ok? :) 

And tomorrow, during the gym consultation, I vow, swear, declare to me smart, assertive, prudent, and if required, anal, bitchy, and if all fails....


 对不起,你会讲华语吗?

And my brows do look pretty amazing.

But enough is enough, and when I'm done with the package, I'll make do with no-so-nice brows.
Or maybe there will  be better ones!  Just don't go bankrupt within these 3 years, ok?
After that I don't give a shit. Usually I would, but for The Rah Rah Rah bosses.... Nah. You should get a taste of what excruciating feels like.

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