Monday, November 26, 2012

Why I paid $200+ just to get someone to Shut Up

Have you ever stepped into a spa/grooming salon/gym..

Then the  very aggressive staff just drone on and on and on about how you should live your life  sign up for their packages?

And when you agree, they'll be like "actually there is a much better one' ?

And then The Better Package gradually snowballs to become .....

The Million Dollar Package That Can LAST Until Your Great-Grandchildren Have Great-Grandchildren? 

And fine, I'm ranting, but you gotta admit, those promotion tactics are helluva annoying. I mean the tactics, not the staff, because I'm pretty sure they don't loveeeeee cornering, ganging up, and uttering torrents and torrents of numbers and act like cats fighting for fish.
I just spent $200 buying a package, and all because I wanted to SHUT THEM UP. Like buying my way out of prison LOLOLOL.

They never, never take no for an answer
and will continue talking the shit out of themselves until the customer gives in. Or screams STFU and stomps away, hopefully shattering the glass door in the process. It's usually the former, unfortunately.

And now, I'm feeling like shit because all I'm thinking is..
"What if they go bankrupt and all my money flies away?"

Selling Tactic 1:
Every single time... at your most vulnerable moment, the stylist (or whatever you call her), suggests some other service. Which frankly, is kinda hard to answer when you're gonna have like 50 hair follicles being ripped off your skin at one go. 

Selling Tactic 2: 
If you 逃过那一届, another hurdle is waiting for you at the counter. 2nd round of selling, and you begin to think saying no is a sin. Even if you're a paying customer. Like the level with the stupid dragon in SuperMario. Win or die. I've never gotten past that level.  Figures.

I don't know if the peeps who do Brazilian waxing promote their packages like that, but if they do... while unethical, I'm sure their sales will go sky-freaking-high. Because firstly. Who is in the mood to even THINK and consider the prices an stuff in such a... vulnerable position? And who, tell me. Who even dares to even piss the waxer off a little? It's all in the power, I tell you. Very Christian Grey-ish, just not in a glamorous way.

I mean, I understand it's the job and they are required that, but ethics-wise, there should be a limit, no? Don't you think this is something for senior management, or even, the authorities to look into?

I mean think about it, tactics like this are freaking stupid. Even though they are the best I have come across, I'm having second thoughts about continuing with them because the trepidation when I enter their shop is too much to bear. I feel like I am undergoing interrogation with CIA you know??????

Every single time, before I step into the shop, I'll take a deep breath, and repeat my mantra: "DON'T WAVER. DON'T WAVER. You are a strong, independent woman. You can do this. Yes you can."

Okay that was a bit dramatic but you get the point. 

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I head to the counter, at least 3 staff will be all ready, trying to push/pressure/psycho you tp buy their stupid packages, leaving me no time to even think or consider my mind was just screaming OMG OMG 放过我吧求求你啦!!

Why do I still go? Because so far, they're the best. Actually, they're so good they don't even need to bug people. 

I wanted to buy a smaller package today, but because of their fucking aggressive tactics (and you know I wouldn't curse if I wasn't that ... traumatized). OK la so you know I bought the bigger package which can last me like 3 years. But no fuck no, that wasn't enough. THEY HAD TO PROMOTE MORE AND MORE AND MORE THINGS. Like refer my friends, Christmas gifts... bla bla bla. I couldn't catch anything after  while. Or didn't bother.

Whoever their bosses are, you are rotten jerks, and I hope you get cornered and pestered to buy like... shitty stuff that you don't need for extravagant prices. But then again, you wouldn't mind, because you're laughing all the way to the bank anyway after having your staff rattling off numbers and OH LOOK, YOU WILL SAVE $20 MORE IT MAKES MORE SENSE RIGHT with a *are-you-stupid-or-what-and-I talk-so-much-already-if-you-reject-I-will-dulan-one-ah face*

Actually, now I realize there's a way to get around this. 

If you don't want to buy:
1) Just look blank, and keep repeating. NO. NO NO.

2) n your best android voice.  
3) You can try crazy eyes as well

If you want to buy a $100 Package: 

1) Pretend to be very interested in the $50 package.
2) They will pester you to buy the $100 one. CONFIRM.得寸进尺is what businesses are.
3) Look very vexed and indecisive
4) Say.. OK LA sloooooowly and very reluctantly (let them think they power)

But then again, there's a bright side to everything.
$200+++ is a lot, but not as much as others. For example, a gym membership. I'm meeting a lady from the gym tomorrow, and this time, I'll stand firmly on my ground, FOR REAL. Because gym memberships are real killers on wallets of sweet young girls like myself HAHA. 

Tomorrow I shall be very thick-skinned, and buy a package only if I need it. If the lady gets pissed off, then too bad. No business forever, even when I'm filthy rich!

And please please please. Don't go bankrupt on me, ok? :) 

And tomorrow, during the gym consultation, I vow, swear, declare to me smart, assertive, prudent, and if required, anal, bitchy, and if all fails....


And my brows do look pretty amazing.

But enough is enough, and when I'm done with the package, I'll make do with no-so-nice brows.
Or maybe there will  be better ones!  Just don't go bankrupt within these 3 years, ok?
After that I don't give a shit. Usually I would, but for The Rah Rah Rah bosses.... Nah. You should get a taste of what excruciating feels like.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

My Wedding, and thoughts on getting older

Got your attention, didn't I? :D
Anyway, I took this photo just a few steps from where I saw the 'moth'.

We're all getting older. Especially me. As you can see from this. Salonpas. Miracle cure for aches and pains HAHA. It's a sticker thing with medicated oil. You paste in on wherever you're hurting.  And I managed to get it stick to my hair.  Hurt like @#$% when I took it out!
I'm writing about weddings is because I've been seeing a lot of it on Facebook. Friends of friends, that is. They always have.... so many guests. I don't know how everyone can have at last 300 guests, because I know I could never do that. Why, I'm so... anti-social, even 30 (from my side) would be a problem. Unless I invite my grandmother's auntie's sister-in-law's godmother's mother's cousin's grandaunt's mother too.

And wouldn't it be embarrassing, if I had 20 guests, and my husband's got the 'normal' 200 guests? B
ut then again, I don't have to worry about that. I mean, who'd want to wake up to a mess like this every morning? HAHA.
Ok kidding. I staged this. Hahaha.
Ok but anyway, since honestly, I'm not the marrying type so the next 'gathering' thing would have to be my funeral. Yes, it's a morbid thought, but nobody knows. I can't guarantee nothing's gonna happen to be tomorrow, or any other day after that.
I just thought of who would attend my funeral (choy, of course), and I came up with a grand total of..... I don't even dare to say it. And even dead, I'll be really sad.

Hi if something happens to me, I don't want a funeral. But I do want to trend on Twitter (or whatever is the hottest in-thing then) for a day. HAHA. Thanks in advance. Though I really don't want to die because my hair feels nice and soft today, for once. And I'm making videos to troll my nemesises (if there's a plural version) over my 20+ years, and I want them to see it sooooooo bad.
 To make it easier for you to erase that frightful morning face from your memory, here're some  realistic pics
Ok bye study time! I promised I'd buy this for myself if I do well. You may say 'it's only $9, just buy it!". But I'm a very thrifty girl which is one of (the qualities of a very good wife btw HAHAHA), so CONTROLLLL. 

I usually like Piglet but this time Eeyore caught my attention! Even my sister says it's cute!

Happy Family! Not very well taken because I had to take these photos on the sly. Haha. I love soft toys but I'm not like super rich, so I take photos for keepsake :P

Oh I just sang heartily to  Right Here Waiting while typing my looooooong Facebook password. I can't multi-task, apparently. Took me an entire song to realise that.
And here's the song, in case you're too young to remember! His hair. Hahaha. 30 years down the road, the kids will be laughing at OUR "outlandish" hair.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Finally. .An Update!

Hi y'all! I know I haven't been posting for quite some time, but school's keeping me busy! Never-endng assignments, and exams are around the corner! I know I know.. boringgg life! But I'm trying to change that so just you wait! *air of mystery*
And here's a little something so that you won't miss me too much hahaha. Nothing much, just a few frames I extracted from another video I did. It's only 13 seconds so please watch it. HAHA.
 If you aren't from Singapore, I hope you have fun trying to figure out what I'm saying! :D

Here're some snapshots I got! I'm very very proud of this HAHAHA because nobody ever notices me and my friend says I'm FOREVER NICE. Okay I'll give myself some applause hahahahaha *self entertainment*
Breakfast!!! And the egg's just for show because I don't usually eat eggs. Poser-ish, I know. Don't you think eggs emit fart smells sometimes? But they sure make nice visuals!
And this one. OMG. I got a TERRIBLE SHOCK when I was walking towards this.... thing. I thought it was a gigantic moth. And there wasn't anywhere else I could detour! Had to brace myself, hold my breath, pluck up all my courage to walk! Then I realised... it was just masking tape! I swear, it looked worse from far! Should have taken a video but was too traumatise to think straight hahaha.
My Parents. People of few words. Both 'k-ed' at me!
Oh and I haven't really taken many photos of myself because I kindaaaaa had a bad haircut... but here's one which isn't very clear. And if I may add... #nomakeup #nofilter #noedit.
Which is probably why I look so different from the video, when these were taken 1 week apart.

Okay that's all for now! Catch up soon! :D