Sunday, August 29, 2010

How to use a condom

So I got a free condom from somewhere. I don't know what they expect me to do with it. Blow up a balloon?
And then, and then, it crossed my mind. How do people know how to put one on for the first time?
TAAAA DAAAAAH your solution's here!
Kinda cute.  You gotta click on the 'play' button or it won't show. At least not on my screen.
So.... learnt anything? =P


Better then giggly, unintelligible whores and bananas, huh?
Sorry this is realllyyyyyy random, I know!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

"Screw you bitch' (sic)

BOO HOOO HOOOO I GOT MY FIRST HATE MAIL.
What did I ever do? I didn't even know you existed. And your existence isn't worth to be known anyway.
No one has ever directed ANY vulgarity at me in all my 21 years.
Least of all a complete stranger. So no one can blame me for over-reacting. Coz I SUAKU, OKAY?
Keyboard warrior who doesn't even have the balls to reply. Either that or his Chinglish's too powerful, it makes understanding proper English difficult.


AND just FYI. If you have a profile pic like THIS:

It's best not to say 'screw you bitch' (sic) to a girl. I might get the wrong idea.  :)
Because I just looked the word 'bitch' up in dictionary.com. Now I'm wondering if I should be offended by this refreshing little comment.

 Tata. It's 2am and I'm gonna wake up earlyyyy tomorrow for some photography around the neighbourhood! TGIF, people!

Monday, August 23, 2010

When you-know-who Judges others by appearances. Irony.

Love is not about who is beautiful or handsome.It's about how the other party makes you feel. Its about them getting into your heart, your life, your problems, everything, actually. Anyone who says appearances are more important should remember that real beauty comes from within, looks fade over time but the beauty within never does. For those people who say that it's impossible to love someone who isn't beautiful, get a life. Stop being so shallow.
Especially if you look like.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Okay I shall not post it. Teehee.



Ohhh yeahhh I went to Marina Barrage last week. WHY WASN'T THE SKY BLUE JUST FOR MEEEE.





Saturday, August 14, 2010

Hell Hath No Fury like a woman deprived of her Mcnuggets.

-DRAFT- you can read it but it's not at it's best. I'm only posting it to that I HAVE to get ot done asap. Or it'll be sitting around in my drafts, left to rot.

Punching.. screaming... hair-pulling.. climbing... reinforcements, window smashing, AND a jail term - just for some nuggets. Oh look at her go. She never, never gives up. We've got ourselves a  fiesty one here.




So was she lovin' it or not?

Oh I'm sure you've been warned.  Never get in the way of a premenstual woman, menopausal woman, pregnant women with hormonal imbalance, and most importantly, shrieking stampedes of women at sales. But this. This is a first.

I don't know if there's something wrong with my laptop, but I hear nothing. Not that I'd fancy burning my ears with some inebriated crap-talk.
Starts out as boring old everyday footage. Normal lady ordering her food. *yawn*
Stay, stay, don't lose interest! Now somewhere at 1:12...
Can you believe it. NO MORE NUGGETS! Oh the HORROR. :O

Then all hell breaks lose. Chick goes berserk. I'm not gonna say what she did because you HAVE to watch it :P
It's been more than a few of the local papers and you KNOW how our papers are, so this. This is NOT TO BE MISSED. Just watch from 1:15! Won't take a minute, I promise!


So. Darling. How bout that Prada sample sale I raving about? Still on? I promise I won't let any catty claws touch you even one bit. ;)


 
.
 
 
This is actually not  funny. Someone could have gotten hurt. Or worse, blinded. Bitch. Being drunk is no excuse for behaviour like this. Oh well. Chick's famous now. Over 1 million hits on youtube in less than a week. Coverage in papers worldwide. I'm glad she doesn't need PR. I would hve died tabulating the Total Ad Value she has generated from all the clippings.

Monday, August 9, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE

I might have complained about you a few times in the span of these 21 years, but I still love you, and I really can't imagine myself living anyplace else!

 
I love you so much I announced your birthday on my Facebook Page.
(And I couldn't resist adding in a little something about my favourite people in Singapore. heh..)



Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Page 2 of The Devil Wears Prada

CAN YOU HEARRRRR MEEEEEEEEE
CAN YOU EHARRRRR MEEEEEEEEE

Well you do know hearing and listening are 2 entirely different entities.

Life, Life. I wonder what Life has in store for me today.
I love surprises, don't you?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Bitch

Bitches are aggressive, assertive, domineering, overbearing, strong-minded,
spiteful, hostile, direct, blunt, candid, obnoxious, thick-skinned, hard-headed,
vicious, dogmatic, competent, competitive, pushy, loud-mouthed, independent,
stubborn, demanding, manipulative, egoistic, driven, achieving, overwhelming,
threatening, scary, ambitious, tough, brassy, masculine, boisterous and
turbulent. A Bitch takes shit from no one. You may not like her, but you cannot
ignore her.
Bitches_are_aggressive_assertive_domineering_overbearing_strongminded_spiteful. (n.d.). Columbia World of Quotations. Retrieved August 02, 2010, from Dictionary.com website: http://quotes.dictionary.com/Bitches_are_aggressive_assertive_domineering_overbearing
There are all kinds of bitches.


1) Innocent looking ones - no one but the intended target would ever realise
2) Domineering ones no one dares to piss off - I'm a dragon lady, hear me RAWRRRR and looka me intimidate the shit out of you
3) Those who try too hard and think they're all that - I'm always right, and you're always wrong.
4) Those whose sole purpose in life is to put everyone down - I will use everything in my power to make you as small a fry as possible
5) Power-crazy bitches - ditto number 4
6) Insecure ones - starts to comment on poor random souls' appearances.


It's late, I've run out of ideas. But i'll add to the list when I've got inspiration.


You know what? Never let people like this affect you. I know, it's easy to say. But deep down, people like that are insecure and it won't take a lot to take down a peg or two.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

When your belts are too loose.

I've been buying cheap belts. The kind which cost a mere $5 for 3. I'm saving for early retirement, you see. Every cent counts! The thing about belts like that.... they usually don't punch many holes, and most of the time, the belts are too loose to wear.
And taking in mind the cost of the belts, no shopowner is gonna punch holes for you.
What can a girl do but solve the problem herself?

Credits to daddy dearest.

Call me dumb, but I never knew something like this existed:














Leather punch. I've just used this nifty little gadget to punch extra holes on my too-loose belts and too-long bag straps. Lifesaver for the penny pincher. You see those 6 little things sticking out? Those come in different sizes.... so you tweak it and punch extra holes of your desired size.


SEEEEE. It's simple!!!















And it's not as scary as it seems here. Done in a few seconds, easy peasy! Like ABC! I don't have to pay people to punch extra holes!!!!



















I am feeling very happy because I saved money on more than 10 belts.
Or maybe I suaku lah. Haha.